I realize I have a habit of constantly making connections between principles and this comes from my Dad. He was a college professor as well as a marriage and family therapist. I’ve been in countless scenarios whether it was academic, in the home, or in church, where he pointed out the need to make connections. Throughout his career he has written a number of books, given countless lectures and talks, and has helped a lot of people and a good portion of it has centered on this concept.
Dad taught me about making connections
Yesterday I called him while he was in the hospital. He’s in his mid-70s and I’m not sure he has much time left for me to ask him questions or pick his brain. So, I asked him to walk me through the concept of making connections and why that has always been so important to him.
He said the main reason it is so important to make connections between key principles is because there is not enough time to learn/read/know everything there is to experience in this life. If we can learn key principles in one given area, we will find that these principles have general application to countless scenarios and we can avoid having to go through those experiences ourselves.
I found this mind-blowing. First off, I am constantly asking myself, “What is the most important thing for me to do or read right now?” After I wrestle with my kids, do the dishes, put the munchkins to bed, and I finally have two hours to myself, what is the most important thing I can be reading or doing right now? I want to consume huge piles of books, watch great movies, write a blog post, check the news, practice guitar, and spend more time with my wife. But, there’s not enough time in this life to do, learn, or experience everything that is available or sometimes necessary. So, what could be the most important? Experiencing everything is extremely tempting – traveling, learning languages, experiencing culture and life! Hendrix has been on my mind…Are you experienced? However, what my Dad hinted at was that learning fundamental principles makes it possible to understand other things you’ve never experienced. It kind of suggests that it is unnecessary to experience everything in this life if you can deduce the basic principles of your own experiences. That makes life seem manageable.
I couldn’t help but place this idea in the context of the Aristotle piece I just wrote, about the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Learning fundamental principles is the wisdom part. It’s like going to school and learning theory – studying to gain wisdom while not having to experience the events. So, how I see it, is that wisdom, if applied correctly, can compensate for a lack of knowledge/experience. If I am able to learn and understand things theoretically, textbook style, and deduce the valuable principles from a macro level, those could be applied to multiple scenarios outside of the context in which it was learned. That would reduce my need or pressure to experience everything in this life/world. Or, things that I have only learned theoretically may have principles that can directly apply to future personal situations, allowing me to be prepared for things I’ve never experienced. I’m overwhelmed with the application of this idea.
Making Connections Bottom Line
Making connections helps you gain wisdom without having to experience everything in this life for yourself. In a world where we are constantly inundated with information, media, distractions, and peer pressure, it is liberating to think there is a way to sift through it all without having to consume it all.
There’s great wisdom in what your dad is saying. One of the great dilemmas young parents face (and this comes from personal experience) is the notion that when you have kids who need your constant care, you no longer have the time to explore all those opportunities that life seems to offer. And it’s true–we can’t abandon our stewardship in order to fulfill the self-serving urges of mortality.
As I make connections between what I believe to be eternal truths (like the role that families play in the existence of man) and the simple things that bring me the most joy in my own life, I realize that I’m currently living a much more meaningful adventure than I could ever find out in the big wide world. It helps to quell the wanderlust a bit. And I continue to express gratitude to those who are out there, living amazing experiences in far off places, and sharing what they see and learn with the rest of us. We can sift through the filler and really benefit from the lessons learned, all in the comfort of our own neighborhood/smart phone/PC.
Thank you for this wonderful story! Your dad was a wise man. I am a big believer that everyone has wisdom that could only be gained through experience. Nothing thrills me more when a person shares his or her wisdom. (I coined a phrase, “wisdom entrepreneur” for people who take it to the next level.) What you’ve pointed out is that I don’t have to wait for someone to share. I can “make the connection” and ask.
Wonderful post. I miss your father and his wisdom, please post more about the things you learned from him.
So glad to hear from you, Maria! Glad you liked it. Some day I need to tell you more about that last conversation with dad. This whole blog seems to be his fault 🙂
I just this weekend discovered that your parents have died. I’m so sorry. I knew them in Tallahassee back in the 1970s at FSU. I was your Dad’s secretary for a time while I was going to school there. He was a brilliant man, wonderful teacher, and one of the most major influences of my life. We often talked about the “mysteries” – his favorite. I thought the world of your mother as well. Though the years passed I never forgot them or your family. (I got to meet you when you were about 1 during a cross-country jaunt I was making.) Does Darron still play the trumpet? Does he ever play with you? Wishing you great success in your musical endeavors.