I’m reading The Element by Ken Robinson these days. This is another great book and I will be dedicating a number of future posts to it once I’m done reading it. However, I got into a great conversation with one of my co-workers about the unrepressed nature of children and wanted to share it because I think it will resonate with a lot of people. This will definitely require more in depth writing later.
In the book Robinson notes that children have an “unrepressed” type of behavior. They don’t care if they do or get something wrong – they are not driven by fear like adults. Somehow as adults we lose that sense of freedom; we gradually develop a fear of failure and that child-like unrepressed feeling is taken from us. We are too often afraid of being wrong. I remember developing this fear in high school. I remember constantly being scared of being different or getting the answer wrong or doing something people wouldn’t like. Along the way we have that child-like awesomeness worked out of us.
I think this unpressed nature is why children are so amazing. I love to watch my kids be kids and I love being a kid with them. It takes me away from being an adult and reconnects me with that child-like fearlessness. I think this may be one reason adults are so protective of children. Not only are children defenseless, but they hold a magical power that we all wish we still had and we are protective of that natural magic they possess. We all wish we still felt unrepressed like them. It is a power we don’t talk about, but I think we as adults unknowingly seek to protect and feed from it.
The Unrepressed
The Unrepressed
As a musician I believe there is a direct connection between the unrepressed magic of a child and the untangible power of entertainers. Have you ever seen a band or singer on stage who seemed nervous or uncomfortable? It makes me squirm. I feel really bad for the person and have a really hard time watching because I can virtually taste their fear. But, have you ever seen a great performer on stage who has no inhibitions? Their ability to tap into unrepressed magic is what is so compelling and we all wish to reconnect with that. The deeper a performer can dig down and pull out that child the more we are drawn to that performance because we all want what we feel we’ve lost. We want it back badly. It’s like we all know that we’ve lost the magic, we are all now scared to make mistakes, and so we quickly recognize and are attracted towards those who have either never lost the magic or have somehow tapped back into it. I know for me it is still scary to go on stage and perform, but I force myself to get out there because I know that when I do I find that unrepressed kid I’m searching for. I believe performances of mine that are most successful are when I deny my adult fears and include an audience in a peeling back of the layers of fear and anxiety that we’ve developed as adults and reveal the child within us that we are all desperately trying to reconnect with.
We need to be more like children, not just because they’re meek and humble, but because they are not afraid. We are too afraid of being wrong. That makes it really hard to do anything original or creative. If we allowed ourselves to be more like children and be okay with being wrong, we’d be much happier and we would probably get a lot more honest things done in this world.
You’re right about this resonating with many- I know it does with me. I never have anything to say about leadership, but I love this idea. It is so hard to let go of fears when being creative. Part of you is older and wiser and that experience can hold you back. It’s almost more socially appropriate to be mediocre it seems. I know when I have pushed myself creatively I have had successes and many failures and failure feels like… Socially unacceptable or something. Anyway I’m typing this on my phone while holding a baby so sorry if I’m not making sense, but yes, I get it. Very true.
Love it. Especially the phrase, “socially appropriate to be mediocre.” How often do we contribute to a mediocre status quo by listening to our fears instead of listening to that great little kid who is unafraid inside all of us. How much more amazing would our communities, families, and lives be in general be if we let the “caped crusader” version of us out more often.
I agree we live in a cultural fear of failure. That’s why singing in the shower or “dancing like no one’s watching” brings a smile. It reminds us of what life used to be as we were children; those innate emotions and responses to just being happy with no worries. I wonder if performers have a more positive self-image/ self asteem or just have less fear of taking risks or both? But behind successes, their are many failures (practices) that got them there. They are practically pre-requisites so it’s kind of weird how we have come to fear them to the point of inaction.