Staying afloat amidst a sea of rejection requires buoyancy.
Dan Pink writes in To Sell Is Human, “Draw a map of the world of selling and the most prominent topographical feature is that deep and menacing ocean [of rejection]. Anyone who sells – whether they’re trying to convince customers to make a purchase or colleagues to make a change – must contend with wave after wave of rebuffs, refusals, and repudiations. How to stay afloat amid that ocean of rejection is the second essential quality in moving others. I call this quality ‘buoyancy’.”
One of the most important principles to successful sales, according to Dan Pink, and one with which I agree, is to be able to stay afloat. You have to stay buoyant. But I would add that the heart of buoyancy is, just don’t give up.
The problem is that sometimes we take rejection personally and that kills motivation. Don’t take rejection as being the norm, it’s the exception, because continued effort will always bring some amount of success if you are truly serving and not trying to manipulate or coerce others. Most people fail simply because they give up. Just don’t give up.
Make a Connection with To Sell Is Human: It’s Like Having a Baby
Have you ever seen a woman in labor? I’ve been blessed to witness the birth of my children and to be there to support my wife through the delivery. After sitting shotgun for a few deliveries my view is that labor can be one of the most painful, scary, and anxiously anticipated things a woman can ever experience in her life. 9 months of drawn out preparation and doctor visits, concern over the continued health of the baby, the last few months of per-labor pains, and then finally the big day where some women have ridiculously protracted labor for hours and hours on end – it’s all so intense! All of this begs the question, why do women do this?!
The answer is in the face of a mother as her newborn is placed on her chest after being born. A newborn child melts away any pain, fear, or anger a mother may have had. Somehow there’s this crazy magic that newborns have once freed from the womb. Not only that, once the mother has left the hospital and maybe years even pass, but the magic continues and a conversation about having another baby comes up! How is it the pain, suffering, and sacrifice associated with birth is forgotten or is seen as being endurable? I say the answer is because the result of pregnancy far outweighs the sacrifice. And that is the key to buoyancy. When the result of what you’re doing is so important, rejections or obstacles cannot drag you under.
Now, let me be perfectly clear. In no way am I trying to compare the significance of child-birth to that of sales. I’m not suggesting there is a relative comparison between the significance of the two. What I am suggesting is when we achieve something great or worthwhile, there is some kind of magical power that helps us forget the pain and sacrifice we had to endure to achieve it. Somehow we can forget all of that if we remain focused on the significance of our goals.
Want to know how to pick yourself up after failure? How to stay buoyant? First, make sure your effort to “sell” is connected to something you can truly tie your soul to – like having a child. That is one of the best ways to help you stay afloat amidst a sea of rejection. Second, expect rejection and just don’t give up. Expect to have to swim in an ocean of struggle, but that’s sometimes the only way to make it to somewhere worthwhile.
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